“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
This post was inspired when some friends brought up the fact that (mainly) girls on twitter were doing a ‘body posi nude posting session.’ (“Posi” in this case means positive.) Despite the fact that I really admire the idea behind this movement; the idea that women shouldn’t be ashamed of their body and should show it off if they want to without having to feel insecure or be made to feel insecure by others, and also the fact that women’s value of their body and self shouldn’t come from a man telling them what they think of their body, but from what they themselves think. All of this is really good and shows the progress we as females are making today in claiming back our self-confidence and overcoming the idea that we live to be validated by men, but I can’t help but disagree that this is not the way we should be going about achieving self-confidence for all women around the world.
The problem I have with posting your nudes on twitter, even if they are in the name of body positivity (which is definitely something I advocate), is that these nudes can be saved by anyone around the world and possibly used for nefarious purposes. This is especially dangerous for underage girls, because of course, they are underage and posting sexually explicit pictures is actually illegal for underage people, and also the possibility that perhaps they don’t have any experience dealing with online perverts and the like, and are unaware what could actually be done with these pictures. I’m all for taking nude pictures and sending them to friends/boyfriends/girlfriends/partners of any sort, as long as you’re doing because you want to and not because someone else wants you to, but I don’t believe in posting them on Twitter where literally anyone could find them. However, I know this sounds very hypocritical, because if that’s what these women/girls want to do, who am I to stop them? It would not be feminist of me to criticise and demonise these women and their personal choices, so I won’t do that. I merely want to only express my concern about what might be done with their pictures. But, girls, you do you!
I also want to say that you do not have to post nudes to show people that you’re body positive or body confident. Being body positive isn’t all about feeling that you look good naked, even though that is definitely an important part of feeling self-confident and happy with your body. Body positivity, or body confidence, is about being satisfied with your appearance and body shape and physical capabilities and the way clothes fit you or the way you look in a swimsuit/bikini, how tall you are in high heels, the way rucksacks look when you wear them… just anything about your physical appearance. I definitely agree that it’s amazing and necessary for all women to be confident naked, but I do not want anyone to think that it’s all and only about that. I find today that a lot of things always seem to relate back to sex and sexual experiences.
The main point here, though, is why should we embrace body confidence?
And my answer to this is simple, you will never be happy if you don’t. If you’re constantly obsessing over how you look, or how other people think you look, you’ll never be satisfied, and living life unsatisfied is never going to be fun. We need to be body confident because our self worth shouldn’t be determined by how other people see us, because who cares what they think? Literally? Who actually cares if Brenda and Jorge were gossiping about your clothes? Cut them off if they don’t make you feel better about yourself. If they care more about what you’re wearing then you do, then employ them to write a blog about your fashion sense and put their unnecessary concern about your clothes to good use. Stop relying on other people to make you feel good about yourself, make yourself happy! Being body confident, and self-confident, guarantees you a happier life because more time is spent devoted to doing things you love rather than caring about what other people think of you. This whole last part of my post might sound totally cliché, but there’s a reason these phrases and messages are constantly repeated. It’s because they are the truth, and by making that change and dropping anyone who makes you feel like shit, you will be way better off in the future.